The All In Podcast

Episode 32 - We are back for Season 3!

• Florence Gillet • Season 3 • Episode 32

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In this episode, Nicola and Florence thank their listeners for their support, kick off season 3 of the podcast, and explain what they have done in the past 18 months while the podcast was on pause.

To find support in your HA recovery:
Get the "No Period. Now What?" book at noperiod.info/book.
Get the French version "Je n'ai plus mes regles" book at noperiod.info/livre
To join the NPNW English support group, please visit noperiod.info/support
To join the French support group, please visit noperiod.info/communaute
To make an appointment with Dr Sykes and get individual support to get your period back or improve your fertility, please go to noperiod.info/appointments
To make an appointment with Florence Gillet and get help with the body and mind changes happening in recovery please visit www.beyondbodyimage.com

You can find us on social media
No Period, Now What? on Instagram in English
No Period, Now What? on Instagram in French
Beyond Body Image on Facebook
Beyond Body Image on Instagram

Email us  via allin@noperiodnowwhat.com

If you enjoyed this podcast and found it helpful, please drop us a rating and a review to help more people find it. 

Original Music by the Andy Shulman Band "Lost & Found" available on Spotify. 

To find support in your HA recovery:
Get the "No Period. Now What?" book at noperiod.info/book.
Get the French version "Je n'ai plus mes regles" book at noperiod.info/livre.
Get the German version "Keine periode - was jetzt?" at noperiod.info/buch.

To join our support groups, please visit noperiod.info/support
for English, noperiod.info/communaute for French, and noperiod.info/community for German.

To make an appointment with Dr Sykes and get individual support to get your period back or improve your fertility, please go to noperiod.info/appointments
To make an appointment with Florence Gillet and get help with the body and mind changes happening in recovery please visit www.beyondbodyimage.com

You can find us on social media:
Instagram:
@noperiodnowwhat in English
@jenaiplusmesregles_livre in French
@keineperiodewasjetzt in German

...

Welcome to Olin, a straight shooting, science based podcast about periods, fertility, and nurturing health outside of unrealistic beauty expectations. We will mostly, but not exclusively, focus on hypothalamic amenorrhea, HA, a component of relative energy deficiency in sport, formerly known as the female athlete triad. I'm Dr. Nicola Sykes, scientist and author of the book No Period, Now What? I specialize in helping people understand how their eating, exercise, and lifestyle habits are keeping them from hormonal health and their best life. My work focuses on regaining periods, improving fertility, and breaking free of the rules underlying diet culture. My name is Florence Gillet. I'm a certified eating psychology coach, a former HA patient, and an advocate of health at every size and body neutrality. I help people let go of their obsession with size and appearance to regain self confidence, finally appreciate their bodies, and live an overall fuller, more joyful life. Every two weeks, the All In podcast brings you real recovery stories, expert insights, and new scientific research on HA, hormonal health and fertility, with an unmissable touch of body respect and women's empowerment. Just a reminder that this podcast represents the opinions of the hosts and their guests. This content should not be taken as medical advice, it's for informational purposes only. And because each person is unique, please consult your primary care practitioner for any medical questions. Music by the Andy Shulman Band, available on Spotify.

Florence:

Hello, Nicola. How are you?

Nicola:

Hello, Florence. It's so nice to be back recording with you again. It's been quite a while. And I think it's fantastic. We have over 145, 000 downloads of our podcast, which is amazing. I mean and I've gotten some really good feedback from people in my support group. You know, they're often saying, when are you going to start recording again? And oh, I listened to this episode and it was so helpful. And you know, that's, that's really meaningful and special. And I, I think that we do have a little bit of a different take from a lot of other podcasts out there. You know, in the mix of the different people that we talk to. And so I think that's kind of cool and exciting.

Florence:

I love that. I mean, we have a great time recording it, and you listeners love it too, which is great. Super, super heartwarming. And you know, when we decided to take a break in May, 2022 from the podcast, I think it was necessary. We really needed that time. And I'm going to come back to, you know, why we decided to do that at the time. But it has been so incredible to just see that every week we would get a few hundred downloads. Without we haven't promoted it, we haven't talked about it. I mean, I think we've been quite conservative when it came to, you know, we launched it a while ago. We're not just going to bring out the same information over and over again, which is maybe silly of us. I'm not sure. I'm not exactly the best at marketing. But. Gosh, thank you so, so much. I think yes, we are back for the season and I'm super excited. But also I really felt the love and it's so nice that it resonated with you, whatever we recorded that it's helping you in your recovery, that it's one more tool, you know, there's the book, there's Nicola's website, there's the support groups. There's a coaching sessions, but I think the podcast is something. different. It's something for everyone. And I'm hoping also, you know, maybe you share it with your families, with your own support groups where you are. So I cannot thank you enough. I think we're both very, very touched and we never thought we would reach, you know, over a hundred thousand, let alone 145, 000. So that is fantastic.

Nicola:

in a way it's like the book itself, my, when I, when I originally wrote it, my goal was to sell a thousand copies and now it's well over 10, 000 and climbing every day and you know, it's just, it's gone a little bit beyond where I ever really wanted it to be. Thought it would you know, and I think that that's really, I think that's really fantastic. And, you know, it's a testament to all the people out there who are listening and sharing this knowledge with their doctors and their dieticians and dieticians sharing it with their clients. And, you know, I think it's really become a lovely. network of people who all have the same goal in mind of you know, not only period recovery, but also the freedom that comes with the food freedom and the mental freedom and, you know, not caring so much about our bodies and not, not caring so much about the societal pressures. And you know, I just think that's a really beautiful place for us to be and for our listeners to be. And you know, I just, I love that people are sharing that with their friends and family. And, you know, it, it just, it really is, it really is heartwarming to see this spreading.

Florence:

Absolutely. And so that's why we're back. I, I had more of an eye on the numbers and I kept saying to Nicola, it keeps going up. We're not even promoting it. This is a great tool actually. using it enough. So, you know, we talked about it a bit and we did have to put a few things out of the way to say, like, we're ready to record again. We are going to try and have this ready as video as well, which is like, Hello it may not look exactly the most professional every time, but we will try our best. I think having, oh, wonderful faces in front of you will hopefully be even more interesting. But if you prefer the audio, we would totally understand.

Nicola:

Whatever medium is best for you to watch or listen or, share, we're happy.

Florence:

The goal is to have it available in different platforms and different ways for you to enjoy. And if you prefer to just listen to our voices, we would completely understand it. The, the reason we stopped in May 2022 was quite simple. We had another project at heart. And it was to translate the book in French actually. So it occupied both of us for quite some time. And we felt like at the time we really needed a break from recording, editing, publishing the podcast, which was quite time and labor intensive, even though it's obviously a labor of love. And so. We did do what we said we would do, but a lot of things happened. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. A lot of things happened, I think, for both of us in those 18 months, and we felt like the first episode of season three could be a bit of a recap as to what have happened. What have you done, Nicola? What have you done? It sounds like a punishment, but no. What, what do you want to share with us that actually happened since May 2022? And we're now recording in December, 2023.

Nicola:

Yes, it's, it's kind of unbelievable that it has been quite so long. And I really have to thank you, Florence, for sort of saying we should start this up again. Because I, oh gosh, so many things have happened for me in this past year and a half. And there's been a lot of grief in my personal life. And I feel like I'm sort of slowly pulling through it. The fog is lifting. But it's just, it's, it's a little bit hard to see a path forward at the moment. And so having you say, let's start the podcast again. I was like, yes, let's do that. It's so, you know, it's something nice to look forward to and you know, sort of gets us back into the Promoting our work a little bit and, and, and all of that stuff. So I think I'd like to start by just by talking about the French translation. I mean, so it wasn't just taking the original version and translating it into French. It was also. Doing quite a bit of reworking. So we decided to split it into two volumes. So the first volume is really much more about just the period recovery part and not so much about the pregnancy and getting pregnant and trying to conceive and all of that. And then the second volume will be sort of that side of getting pregnant and all of that work. So I think in the current book, it's the third part. But when I first wrote the book, it was very much from the focus of people wanting to get pregnant, because when we were both on the board, that's really almost everybody who was on there was trying to get pregnant. And, that was when you discovered, Oh, I don't have a Period, and now it's kind of important. So I need to do something about it. But I think it's really fantastic that in the years since that the knowledge about period seems to have changed a little bit in the, in the general sphere. And many more people are coming to us wanting to get their period back for all the health reasons, and not just for immediate pregnancy purposes. So we reworked. That whole first section to sort of take away some of the focus on pregnancy and focus more on period recovery. We also work to make it a little bit more gender inclusive. You know, we were very, when, when I first wrote the book you know, I was, I started it 10 years ago in, in 2012 and you know, obviously for people for whom gender identity was sort of nontraditional. That's always been their life, but I think it's become much more prominent in the public sphere in the intervening years. And so we made, we made an effort to try not to focus quite so much on women, but sort of open the book to anybody who might be experiencing missing period. So those, those both took quite a bit of work on my part. We also wrote I just wrote a whole new chapter on contraception after HA, because I

Florence:

you wrote it. I, I didn't write much You can take full credit for that. I did not write any part of this.

Nicola:

so I said we, because I also did reconnect with Lisa and Stephanie and ask them to help with, you know, with editing

Florence:

Okay. That makes sense.

Nicola:

Yes. Making it you know, again, I'm a scientist. I write like a scientist. I write for scientists. So, you know, having input from people who are of different backgrounds always very helpful. I mean, I'll, I'll never forget. There were a few times when, when I was writing the first version and Steph would be like Nick, I don't understand what you're saying here.

Florence:

What exactly are

Nicola:

And I would go back and look at it and like, yeah, okay, I see how that could use a little bit of editing just, you know, just for general clarity. I mean, not everybody knows the same scientific terms that I know. So anyway, so I wrote the chapter on contraception sort of with an eye to really focusing on ovulation and the importance of that. And there are some contraceptive methods. that allow you to continue ovulating, which I think is hugely important. There are some methods that are better than others if you're not ovulating, and there are also differences in what they might do for your bone density. So this new chapter really brings all of that together. So I am planning on publishing that as a standalone little chapter for people that have the book already and are interested in that. So that's one of the things that's on my to do list. So, yeah, so that was, that was a lot of the work that I was doing. And then also, so we hired somebody to actually do the translation. You know, so that's Eva Barlow Headley. And so she and Florence worked together on the translation and editing. And I also would read through because I can read French, even though I can't speak it perfectly and

Florence:

read it very well. You read it

Nicola:

Yeah. My red French is pretty good.

Florence:

Yeah.

Nicola:

so yeah, so we had a lot, and of course the editing takes way longer than you ever think it will. You always were like, Oh yeah, I mean, I think we edited the original version for a year and that was completely mind blowing to me. I mean, I thought, Oh, it'll be a month or two. Yeah, no. No, it's actually a lot of work to do the editing and then the copy editing. And, you know, you put it into the book format and you're missing a period here. You, you know, you have the wrong kind of quotation marks. You've got extra spaces. Oh, this part didn't actually get translated, you know, there's just so many, so many things that, that went on through that process. So is there anything that you would like to say about those months that we were working on? That Project.

Florence:

fascinating for me to participate in this because I've never really done that before. The amount of work that goes into that book is tremendous and I cannot thank you enough, Nicola, for having done that. And your co authors for the English version first and now a French. Yeah, I was surprised at how much time and effort this required. But I think we, we did quite a good team. I think Eva, our translator, was fantastic. She helped us also understand, you know some of the differences for the pharmaceutical language. Some of the names of medications, for example, are different in Europe. We mostly based the French version on French people. But it will be used obviously in Belgium, in Switzerland, in Quebec. But we decided to focus more specifically on what the French would say which I have to say for me as an expat for so long now, I have to, I had to think. for quite a bit. So like, how do we say this in proper French? Like not in this kind of mix of languages that I use. But It was great working with you as usual. And I think having this book is so, so helpful to the French community because you know, not everybody is going to go in and find you in and say, yes, I'm going to sign up for coaching. I think the book is a great first step to understand, is this really what's happening to me? What do I have? How come I have it? Why are the doctors saying differently? You know, all sorts of questions that you might have. And I'm so glad that we have that available for French speaking people all over. There's still a lot of work to market it and, and making sure it's seen by many people speaking French. But it's, it's great to have that as a tool to refer back to it for women to work their way through as they recover and get back into, okay, maybe what contraceptive I would be preferring to use. So I loved it. It was obviously way longer than I thought as well. And I did felt quite tearful when I had the first copy in my hands. It felt quite special to have that book in French. I think for me, it was definitely a bit of a dream that became true because when I was sick, I would have loved to have that. So it's, it's maybe a bit selfish that I took this on with you. Not a lot of market research went into this. I have to be very honest. I was like, we need it, we need to do it. And we're just gonna get it done. So it's, it's great. And so the book came out in March this year, 2023.

Nicola:

wait, I have to go get a copy.

Florence:

Yes, you have to show us, actually have one next to me if you want,

Nicola:

okay. All right.

Florence:

it's a live looking for the book. So,

Nicola:

Okay. All right. So

Florence:

yay,

Nicola:

my copy. It still has Not for resale because I, I got the proof version so that we could, you know, flip through it and make sure that all of the figures were in the right places and, you know, it just looked good and all of that. So this is, this is my, my copy.

Florence:

we called it I don't have my period anymore because it's a title that sounded better in French than the original No Period Now but I have to say we stayed pretty much very literal. With the English book. I mean, it's not, except for that third part that is not yet translated. Everything is very much close to the English original book. Except that we try to present the examples in a more understandable way. I mean, there are a lot of American references in the English book, which is totally natural and normal. So we try to kind of. make them a bit more French and European. And I think it does speak to everybody now in the, in the French speaking world. I haven't heard anybody saying, what are you talking about? What is this

Nicola:

Yeah. Yeah.

Florence:

So I'm very glad for that. And we've had a few ladies posting great reviews on Amazon. And so it's It's been quite a journey and, and it's definitely my biggest achievement of those 18 months, for sure. Potentially in general as a coach, like something that I'm very, very proud of.

Nicola:

yeah, absolutely. And so, shameless plug, if you are listening to us, and you speak French, and you have, you know, you want to share the book or you know of a podcast that perhaps Florence could be on in French Please, please reach out to us because you know, certainly for, for the English version, I did find that being on other people's podcasts was probably my best marketing tool and shameless plug. If you want me on your podcast, I'll do that too.

Florence:

Yeah. We're basically available for any podcasts in French and English. Yeah. No, definitely. And if you want to order, we have a very simple link as usual. It's It's noperiod. info slash livre for book in French and obviously. Exactement. The French book also has a French support group attached to it. So that is, I guess that's the other change that we didn't really think about, but that we need to talk about is maybe some of you remember the free Facebook group we used to run for years. Gosh, how many years did you run that group for?

Nicola:

A long time.

Florence:

Too long probably. Okay. Okay. Bye. So it was fantastic to have a free group obviously but it's a huge amount of work. Also because a lot of people used to come with no idea whatsoever what was HA, where, you know, they kind of used to arrive there and then say, explain everything to me. And there was the sense of, ah, we have to start this explanation over and over again. We need to find a better way. So. I think it's about the time that we stopped the podcast, right? We kind of transitioned from the free Facebook group to paid for support groups, which we're not asking a lot for those paid support groups, right? How much do we ask for those Nicola?

Nicola:

so for the English version, the recommended amount is 5. 99 a month. I do have a sliding scale. So if people can't afford that, they can pay less. You know, if people can afford a little more, then it's lovely if they could contribute a little bit more. So there's, there's all those options and that's at no period dot info slash support and then the French group,

Florence:

The French group is at nopeer. info slash communauté because we call it our virtual community. Support group doesn't quite work as well in French. So we gave it the virtual community name and it's 9. 99 euro but the 28 first days are free. And we do request for the French support group that you have the book first. I have gotten also a few of my coaching clients in there because after six sessions of coaching, they know exactly what they need to do. But we do need a minimal level of understanding of what is HA, what is the Olin method? What do we have to do to recover? Because otherwise we kept reinventing the wheel on that free Facebook group. What do I do? I don't have a period. Okay. Let me explain to you.

Nicola:

Go get the book.

Florence:

So it was, it was a little bit too complicated and, you know, I think. In a lot of ways, whenever you invest a little bit in yourself of time and money, you actually dedicate more time to. So I think the idea of like, should we keep it free? Should we not make it paid? One, we need that money. We, everybody's got to eat and raise their kids and school is not free in many places in this world. But, The other thing is I do think that putting a little bit of money towards your recovery is actually a way for you also to say I'm really dedicated to do the changes that I need to do. Does that make sense?

Nicola:

Yes, absolutely. And you know, I think many people have invested a lot in things that haven't worked for them, like supplements and teas coaches who don't necessarily understand H. A. or know about it.

Florence:

More diets?

Nicola:

Yes. Yes. Or people who are told they have PCOS and so they go to the gym more and, Lots of, lots of doctors visits.

Florence:

doctor's visits, a lot of functional doctors in France, a lot of you know, natural type medicine you know, plant based medicine, whatever you call it and I'm not saying those don't have benefits but with HA, a lot of people do not know. What they're saying when it comes to helping with HA. And they're also trapped in their own biases, right? So if they believe that you have to be a certain weight or that you shouldn't eat this or that, then they will pass that on to their clients.

Nicola:

Yes. Yeah. I mean, there are certainly practitioners that, you know, clients have shared with me that their practitioners have told them, Oh, cut out dairy, cut out gluten, cut, you know, cut things out. And like, that's, that's not, that's not going to be helpful with HA recovery. You

Florence:

Yes.

Nicola:

so

Florence:

Plus how much money did we invest at the time in, gyms and special miracle ingredients and super organic farm fresh raised free in the nature type eggs and all sorts of stuff. Which again, not saying it's wrong to do that, but it's one of those things, I think you have to find the right balance, definitely.

Nicola:

Yes. So one of the other things that happened for me in that time was that my divorce was finalized and I did end up deciding to change my name back to my maiden name. So just in the last couple of months, I, you know, Republished the English version of the book with my new name on the front cover and we also decided to add this little banner to the to the front where it says origin of the all in method, because there were a lot of people that are talking about it and not sort of. Maybe not giving credit as to where they heard about it from or just misinformed. And, you know, so we decided that we would make it a little bit more obvious because the book isn't called All In or anything like that. Or maybe it should be.

Florence:

I think for me as well, in the, in the French speaking environment, I, I hear a lot of misinformation around All In. And I don't know if it comes from the English speaking world or not, but I constantly have to say like, I'm not here to stuff your face with food. And I'm just gonna get you to a better place and you can do it at your own pace. rhythm and pace, you know, there's obviously things you want to do if you want to get your period back as quickly as possible. But there was this sense that All In was like, you know, binging on all sorts of quote unquote foods that would be seen as unhealthy. And I don't know where people pick that up. So I think it's important that we bring it back to who the author is, which is, you know you and Lisa and Stephanie, thank you so much. Gosh, I should know that. But, but also like to remind people that we're not actually making them sicker by doing this or, you know I think there's a lot of fear mongering. Also in, in this world and, and people will say all sorts of things, which is, you know, they might say that about intuitive eating as well. We've seen that. So I'm not surprised, but it's good that we bring it back and for people to read, Oh, this is what it means. It doesn't actually mean some crazy eating 24 seven type method.

Nicola:

And that reminds me, we do have a previous podcast episode on what is all in, so

Florence:

that was a beautiful plug, Nicola. I love it. Amazing. That's great. So we have now Nicola Sykes. And if you noticed, we also re recorded our intro. So to fit that beautiful new name. old, new, we, it's all good. And did you want to add something else about the past 18 months?

Nicola:

So, another thing that happened is that I changed my website. It sort of happened in a rush and maybe a little bit by accident. So I had been working on it and Then yeah, I don't even remember why it was, but I had to transition over to the new one in a flash and a hurry. And so some things didn't quite make it in translation. So the, the website I think is a much easier to navigate now. You know, there are buttons for buy the book and work with me and the support group which is great, but there were There are some blog posts that I still have not moved over yet. You know, all the, the most important ones that I refer people to quite regularly are all, almost all there. I need to update the one on energy balance and but you know, acetyl carnitine is there. Why you need to wait for three periods before making changes is there, you know, the, the, the things about Prevera and Progesterone. But yeah. But that's, is still on my to do list to sort of update those blog posts. And you know, we also, we also did some translations into French. And so we have a few of our top posts in French as well. So that's that, that was also something that took up some time and probably needs to take a little bit more of my time, but so many things to do.

Florence:

I know, I know. And this is what happens when you're the sole person on board. I always say like, I'm the head of the train and all of the cars. So it's a lot. Sometimes I get a bit lost as well into what is my priority. But yeah, we, you also make available a few free chapters, right in English and in French. So that's super helpful. I find that if. If people are not so sure about buying the book, not so sure they might have HA, the fact that those chapters about diagnosis and the one about HA versus PCOS, totally makes sense for people to just download for free. And then if they still think, yes, this is me, then they can go on to buy the book. So I wouldn't look at it as a, you know, glass half empty. I would, I would look at

Nicola:

yeah.

Florence:

Definitely helpful. But yeah I think you were saying that, you know you felt like some people had maybe lost track of where your website was. So do you want to remind us?

Nicola:

Well, so it's just no period now, what's dot com. And yeah, I think part of it is that, yeah, super simple. I think that in the transition, some of the search engine optimization got lost. And so blog posts that used to come up at the top of searches are no longer coming up. So you know, if you have a website that had links to my old site you know, all the, the. Specific blog posts names have changed, which I think was it's a little bit problematic. So a lot of links might be broken. So if you have a website that was referring to mine, if you could take a couple of minutes and go back and edit those links, I would super appreciate it. Cause that would help with helping more people find the website and the book and you know, all of that stuff. So that would be much appreciated.

Florence:

Awesome.

Nicola:

So the, the paperback in the English has been updated. So not only the cover, but I also went through and changed made a lot of the changes that Florence and I had made. To the version that we're going to translate into French. I've now carried those through into the English version. So that's things like updated the information about soy isoflavones and some other supplements and, you know, added some of that information in took away some of the gender identity stuff. That's actually really cool in French. You know, you may or may not know that many words are, you know, either masculine or feminine. Gendered, yes. And the French language, they've come up with this really cool way of doing either or, so you put a little dot in the word between the masculine and feminine version or vice versa. And I think that's fantastic.

Florence:

So, that's, that's happening in progressive circles. I don't, I don't know if you're aware, but there are rife conversations between the guardians of the old fashioned French who are, completely oppose this and the people that say, well, we should see women in the language, because in French, a lot of stuff is gendered, but also we say the masculine actually wins over. And this was a choice that was made centuries ago by men who actually had in mind to make the language a bit more male focused and to give a little bit less visibility to female. So it was a choice. It doesn't have to be this way, it could be inclusive, and the, the choice that we made to write it in the inclusive manner is to bring back, the idea that masculine is not taking over everything, there are women too but it is actually not a consensus, far from. In France, there are a lot of debates over this. So we made a progressive choice, but it is not sadly, it's not completely okay yet. And even on my account, actually, I shared about this and I had a few people saying, I don't agree with you. This is not right. So it's one of those things. People are attached to their language. My view is that language defines. What we see in the reality. If we don't have words for stuff then those things don't quite exist. It's difficult to talk about something that we don't have a word for. And we've seen that a lot with sexual violence, for example, right, if there were no words, I'm thinking of, you know, when, when kids are being abused and they don't have words for that, then sometimes they're not recognized as victims, although it did happen. So that's my view. And therefore we felt like we wanted to write it in inclusive writing. And that's very cool. I agree with you. The idea that we have both genders in the same words is pretty cool. But yeah, you've been quite busy updating all of these different tools and materials. So that's really great.

Nicola:

And so the, the things I'm working on now are sort of finishing updating the English I'm working on the ebook and, you know, I did the print first and then they just, you know, you have to make sure all the links work for the ebook and you know, the pagination is slightly different. And you know, so it's just, it, so that's, that's coming really soon. And so I think I will you know, for people who have been purchased the book recently. I'll offer it to them for no charge. I mean, I'll offer it to everybody for no charge, but you know, I think if people have the, have the older version, if they might be willing to contribute a little bit towards this new one that would also be lovely. So that'll be an option available on the website.

Florence:

And as you said, you'll, you'll do the contraceptive part as well as a separate add on that people can buy.

Nicola:

Yeah, because that's, that's not in the, that's not in the new book, in the new English version yet either, because the book is already so long and,

Florence:

Yeah.

Nicola:

it's hard to kind of add a whole other chapter in. So that'll, you know, that'll come down the line. So. Right now I'm also working on German translation. So we're in the copy editing stage there. So that's a group of people led by a few Svea, Catherine and Nora from the support group. So it was a group translation efforts and editing. And so that's been, that's been really fun to do. So that's, that's getting close. And then I have a Spanish translation, so I need to find an editor and sort of get it. Get cracking on that. And then next after that, I think we'll be going back and doing some more research for the second volume because, you know, that that was written back in, you know, 2014, 15, 16, and there has been a lot of research that's come out since then. And so I do want to, you know, update the chapters on oral meds and injectables and IVF to be sort of, you know, Like the state of the art and really include some of the more recent stuff, that we've learned about.

Florence:

It will be 10 years next year that you started

Nicola:

gosh. Yes.

Florence:

So, but what a, what a great journey, you know, and yeah, definitely that second volume, I think it would be quite helpful for the French community as well. So the goal is kind of promoting a lot of this existing volume so that I have more people to talk to when it's time to sell the other one. Cool. That's great. I think you've been quite active actually. We were, you know, we had this sense of like, what did we do? Did we, did we actually do anything? But you've been really busy. So

Nicola:

lots of things. I think I, I had been feeling quite burned out on social media. So my presence there has been quite minimal over the last year. I would say I keep thinking, Oh, I should do this. And I, it just, it just hasn't happened. And I think part of that is sort of stemming from what's, what's been happening in my personal life. And I think I've just been feeling a little bit more. Shuttered and closed in and you know, just kind of circling with a few people that are really meaningful to me. so yeah, yeah,

Florence:

I completely understand that. And I think, you know, it's one of those things we go through phases, right? And sometimes it's too much and we can't keep up and you know, It was lovely to see that because you posted recently something and lots of people replied and were like, yay, you're back. We missed you. So I don't think these people, you know, unfollow or are disappointed. It's just life happens. And to me, I see you more as a. kind of opinion leader on these topics. And so I don't actually expect you to post all the time like, Oh, you know, did you know about this or did you know about that? It's kind of, you're really at the root of developing the research, the theories, understanding what is out there, how to explain it to the commoner like me how to make it more accessible. And that makes So much more impact actually than just posting random stuff on Instagram. So I think we need to think also of what are the platforms that function for us right now, you know, and, social media can be an endless rabbit hole. You can spend your whole day there and and not actually getting what you need or what you wanted to do. So I think it's good that you protected yourself in that time and that you're able to kind of feel slowly like you're coming back into, okay, this is what I'm doing. And and maybe it's reaching out to your community in different ways for sure. I totally see that as well.

Nicola:

Yeah. So that's been a lot about me. So how about you tell us a little bit about what you've been working on and

Florence:

feel like I have not done as much. Look, it's been interesting because well, working on the book, setting up you know, the, the way that we would communicate about the book, sell the book organize the support group what's different, you know, Yeah, what's different about my support group in French because we're, you know, we're still recruiting people into the support group. It's not as busy yet is that I've decided to host little workshops. So once a month we do a workshop on a specific topic that is obviously of interest of people in recovery. A lot of them will be around emotional health body image issues, all the things that are really my expertise and that compliment the work that you do with the book and with all the scientific Outcomes that we know thanks to you. And then we also do live Q and A's where people can come and ask their questions. And I've started doing period parties as well. So we're going to have our first period party tomorrow. And the goal is really to also celebrate what we've done, because I find that for a lot of us, we work so hard. We do so much to get there and to. Restore our fertility, which is fantastic. You know, this is the best gift for sure, but I think we don't give ourselves the credit in many ways. And one of the big things that changed for me work wise is that I've decided this year to set more boundaries with what I really wanted to do and how I wanted to focus on my own business and, both in English and in French. It always been a bilingual business, but now that I have the book and the community online, it's obviously a little bit busier on the French speaking side. But I still have my clients on the English side too. And I still work on body image and I still go in schools and I still do all of these things. I felt the need this year to refocus. So that's been an ongoing work to think about where am I going to go in 2024? Where is it? That I really need to offer something to people so that they benefit from the coaching and the support what it is that I maybe don't offer yet that I should offer. So that's still kind of a work in progress. I would love to go back to do a proper newsletter. Messages for people that join the database and, you know, they can get like a, a few free content and stuff that can help them work their way through recovery. And I think my focus is really to give more visibility to the work that we do together and to. Be present on other podcasts and really push a bit more the marketing side of things. I think it's not my area, as I said before, and therefore I tend to procrastinate a little bit on it. Uh, so

Nicola:

much procrastination.

Florence:

so, and because again, you know, you're the head of the train and then all of the other cars, it's easy to just say like, Oh, let us slide a little bit. It has been a reasonably good period for me. Like nothing major happened. Thank God. I, I wasn't, I wasn't hit by some terrible drama or anything like that. But my kids are changing fast. They both ended primary school elementary school and you know, entered middle school or secondary school and gosh it has been quite the rollercoaster ride. I was not ready for that. They are only, I mean, now they're almost 12 and 13. And this year, especially for my daughter, she was only 11. I was not ready for her to change so fast, but she is already a teen at 11 years old. So I had to hold on tight. I think it definitely brought up a lot of I guess, emotional. Difficulties that I still have to tackle for sure. You know, parenting has this wonderful way of showing you exactly what you need to work on. And and so and my husband also decided to take a job in another city. So, we had a lot of, yeah, we, we had to adapt. I realize now, you know, at the end of this year when I think about all of this, I'm thinking, well, yes, it's a lot to adapt to. And I have been feeling out of sorts sometimes and feeling a little bit lost sometimes. about, you know, where's my stance? What is important to me? How do I react to things? I felt very, very hypersensitive to my kids in a way. It felt a bit like they were rejecting me. It's just, they're just growing up. It's not that they do that on purpose, but it does feel a little bit like that when it happens the first few times I can see already that I'm getting more used to the, you know, teenage style, the style of handling not conflict, but you know, debate and arguing in the house because they're not little children anymore and I'm not the center of their world anymore. And I think there's, there is maybe a bit of grief in this too. In the sense of, well, this part is behind now and we still have a lot of great things to live together and they still very much need me, but in a totally different way. So I don't think we're ever ready for that. You know, we're kind of, we know that it's going to happen, but it's not that simple. So I have started also, but this is something maybe I can talk about separately and later in the season. I have started a new type of therapy which was recommended to me called internal family systems. And I find it quite helpful. So I think the longer I spend working on that and the more I get accustomed to it, this may be something we could, maybe we could do an episode on, you know, what kind of therapy we tried and what helped, what didn't help what is out there for people that have a tendency to disordered eating or perfectionism you know, but terrible inner critics. That's very much what I'm still grappling with. I would say it's way better than it was before, but it's still not completely gone if I'm honest. And think it's a good thing that I set boundaries in a way that meant I left the charity that I had worked for, not worked, volunteered. Cause I was not it was, it was pro bono work that I used to do for them for five years. So leaving was necessary. I felt like I was at the end of that cycle and I needed to really refocus on my business. But it's funny when I left, I found myself with all of that time and I got a little bit lost. I have to be honest. So so I, I feel like it's going to be a good start this year, 2024, you know, by the time we're going to release this, it's going to be in 2024, it's going to be a good start to kind of say like, okay, what do I do now? And it's great to say, I'm going to refocus on my business, but what does it actually mean and what do I need to do to make this as interesting, exciting as possible? So that's what happened for me in the past 18 months. I'm still there sometimes a bit wobbly, but I think aren't we all?

Nicola:

Yep. Yes. Yes.

Florence:

looking forward to doing more episodes with you. I think it's I always get a lot of joy. Recording those and preparing those and editing those. So it's a lot of work, but it's definitely worth it. And and hopefully you like the season three as much as you love the two first seasons. So if you were to pick your biggest win or your biggest challenge, what would those be?

Nicola:

So I think biggest win is definitely the publication of the French version and also the attendant update of the English version of No Period Now What? For sure. I mean, that was, That was both of those were a lot of work and you know, really getting them out and, you know, holding this new book in my hand with my updated, you know, with my new name, my old name you know, that's, that's pretty special. And that's, so that's a really, that, that was a really big win. Biggest challenge. I mean, it's I haven't really talked about it. Yet, but you know, my mom passed away in October of 2022. She had Alzheimer's my stepfather was diagnosed with a brain tumor a few months before she passed. And so he passed in June of this year.

Florence:

There's so much

Nicola:

that's been, it's been a lot. And you know, a lot of emotional challenges particularly with him. He was. You know, he was my stepfather, but my, he and my mom didn't get married until I was 26 or 27. My, my father passed when I was 21. So, you know, dealing with sort of the end stages of my mom's life and his life and, you know, in both cases, there was a lot of. inability to communicate and that was incredibly difficult. And so, he was also very private. And so, dealing with some of the things that he left behind in terms of finances and stuff in the house. The legal stuff hasn't gone through yet. But like, I don't know how to shut off the water. And I don't know how to winterize the house and it's getting cold here. And so it's like, I keep, you know, it's, it's been. It's been a lot of work you know, way more than I imagined, even beyond the sort of personal grief, just dealing with everything that they've, you know, what, what they left behind. Speaking of teenagers my boys are now 11, 15 and 17. And you know, similar to you, I mean, there's been a lot of challenges there. And you know, working through

Florence:

not easy.

Nicola:

and my 11 year old, I'm still the center of his world. I don't know how long that's going to last. But that's been, you know, my saving grace sometimes. if you're watching the video, you will see my cat just made an appearance. So actually on the same day that my mom passed, we got we got two kittens. They're black cats. Their names are Mystic and Midnight. They are practically identical. So the only way to tell them apart is that the color of their eyes is different. So Mystic has slightly more olive eyes than Midnight.

Florence:

So if they sleep, you're screwed.

Nicola:

Yeah, so we did put, we did put a collar on midnights because Cam really likes being able to tell them apart. But I sometimes joke, I have, I have five cats, they're called Miss Night at Midnick and you know, cause you, I mean, if you have cats, you know, like sometimes you want them out of a room. And so there was one night where I was trying to get the cats out of the room and every time I would put one out, the other one would come back in again. And so I was like, I have five cats. How did this happen?

Florence:

Yeah. But I guess they've been a good emotional support.

Nicola:

Yes. Yes. And Cam loves them and he loves to tell stories about them and he's also just graduated to middle school. You know, so some big, big changes there.

Florence:

I'm so sorry for your loss twice as well in the same year. It's tough. But I think you've handled it as usual with a lot of grace and a lot of kindness and compassion. So, you know, Well done for that. It was definitely not easy. Yeah. Biggest win for me definitely is the book. Um, It was quite cool. So I traveled to the U. S. right in the summer of 2023.

Nicola:

I was just thinking about that.

Florence:

We met and we hadn't met since uh, 2015. So we don't meet that often except virtually. So that was really, really nice. You were there with some of your boys too. So that was really fun to get to meet them. You met my kids. it was quite special. It was quite special to be there. Biggest challenge. I mean, I can't say that I have one particular challenge. I think for me it was, yeah, adapting to a lot of changes overall you know, between the kids growing and my husband being away more. And just I feel so that there might be a sense that. my body is changing. I, I don't know if it's perimenopause yet. I don't, I can't say that my cycle is different. But I've had a few challenges with anemia, not having enough iron you know, struggling with mood, which some professionals were like, could already be signs of perimenopause, which is, you know, I think I was hearing it can take a decade.

Nicola:

Yeah,

Florence:

which I was like, Oh so gosh aren't we changing all the time? That's the thing, right? You have to adapt to so many different things. But yeah, I definitely feel like it kept me off focus for a while, just dealing with all of these different changes in influences. And it's funny, I think in a way we've been through a similar phase where we struggled to focus as much as we wanted to, at least it's not like we haven't done anything. I realized now it's a good conversation because we can actually say, well, we didn't do anything, you know, Oh, not enough. Oh, I think we tend. Women tend to have this we tend to have this idea that we never do enough.

Nicola:

Yep.

Florence:

but we do a lot actually. So yes.

Nicola:

Yes.

Florence:

And what would you say is in store for this season three that you can already reveal to our listeners then?

Nicola:

So we have we've recorded an episode already on mindful self compassion that I'm really excited about bringing to our listeners. We have a couple of clients to chat with. One is a A man who came to me struggling with some sort of, he had gone all in based on finding Stephanie Buttermore's work and he was struggling with some of the, the, the things around that. So you know, I'm excited to talk with him about his experience of relative energy deficiency in sports. And sort of broadening our, our reach in that way you know, I think that I've learned more about sort of how it impacts male physiology over the last, over the last couple of years. So I think it'll be really interesting to talk with him.

Florence:

That's super cool that, I mean, we're going to have a male guest to talk about the effect of energy deficiency on a male body. Obviously no period there to be regained, but I do know it has terrible side effects as well on male and obviously it affects them both, their bone density as well. Right. So so yeah, that's going to be super exciting. And then you have somebody else as well

Nicola:

Yeah. So this is another, another client who is on her second round of recovery. And I've actually, you know, there, there are quite a few people that have joined my support group recently that are sort of in this same boat. And there's a lot of you know, when you've recovered once, then you sort of feel like, Oh, well I just need to do that again. But you know, our bodies change and things are different. So there's, there's a lot of mental struggle there that I think that she will, she will us about. And, yeah,

Florence:

Makes sense. I'm still pursuing a few guests. So it will, you know, come along as we, as we keep releasing episodes, but we're very grateful to have you listening to us. Thank you so much for your support and you know, keep commenting on the book, on Amazon leaving reviews for the podcast and referring back to Nicola's website my website, when you find something interesting on there we're, yeah, grateful to be back and excited for the season three. And we're going to try and keep bringing you interesting content. So Never hesitate as well to send us, I guess, I'm a bit more on Instagram, so if it's easier to message there. Never hesitate to send some ideas for topics or things you would like us to cover. Or guests you would think might be interesting for us to invite on the podcast. We really want to keep this as participative as possible.

Nicola:

Yes, absolutely. And I do have plans to reach out to some more of my my science friends. Dr. Trent Stellingworth is somebody who's agreed to be on the podcast. We just need to schedule with him. And you know, a few other people yes, yes. So I did go to the female athlete conference. I went in June of this year and there's lots of really interesting stuff and I took all sorts of pictures of slides and then did nothing with it. So you know, I think there's some, some guests, some really interesting guests that I could that we can contact from that as well. So Yeah, and but here's where the procrastination part comes in on my side. It's like, I have to send an email. What?

Florence:

I think we all procrastinate. And gosh, it's funny. I looked into that when I was doing that workshop for the French community and support group on perfectionism. And it's one of the side effects of perfectionism is that you kind of fear you're not going to do well enough. And then you kind of get on a tangent and do something completely different. So We'll get there.

Nicola:

Yes. Yes.

Florence:

We're back on track people. And yeah, well, thank you so much for sharing with us today, Nicola. And I can't wait to hear how you are. All in, in this beginning of 2024,

Nicola:

I was just going to say, we can't forget our question. So I think I would say I am all in on being kind to myself. You know, it's been an incredibly challenging 18 months and there have been days where it's been hard to get out of bed and there have been days where I sit in front of my computer and I, I have intentions and they don't happen and I'm just trying to really give myself some grace there and recognize that, I've been through a lot and, I mean, not even, thinking about, my personal situation and that feels like nothing compared to what's going on in so many parts of the world right now.

Florence:

But you know, suffering is suffering where

Nicola:

yeah.

Florence:

there's no grading on the suffering and your pain is just as valid. So of course you needed time to overcome this. And of course you're probably still in the grieving process, you know? It's funny as we record this tomorrow, actually it will be the anniversary of my dad passing away 20 years ago. And I, I don't feel grief anymore, but I do feel a bit of sadness. You know, I think it's grief is a funny little beast, right? It kind of comes and goes and and it will take time and it's okay. I agree being kind to ourselves, that's really beautiful. And actually the episode we did on mindful self compassion, we'll talk a little bit more about that and how it doesn't mean that you're letting yourself go or whatnot, or, but it's actually, you know, the way you would talk to somebody you love. And I think this is a great way to be all in. I think all of us could probably do with a little bit more self acceptance and kindness for sure. For me. So I've decided this year that my word for 2024 will be focus. I have a feeling it might have been my word in 2023, but it didn't quite happen this way. So I think I will definitely try and be kinder to myself. This is something I keep, I keep trying to be more of that. But I think I do need to really have a little bit of a plan and stick to that plan. And you know, recognize that my needs may have changed. And it's okay. But I can take a bit of time for myself to take care of myself every morning, for example, I need that right now and still, you know, get on with things and feel like I can accomplish new things. I can reach more people with the work that is important to me. So. That's what I want to kind of be all in with in the beginning of 2024 is to really allow for myself to just say, I'm going to focus on something that I want to make happen. And it and maybe it is not related to other people right now. It is really something that I want for myself and that's okay too. Cause I think as, Women and mothers and wives and partners, we tend to take on so much of other people's problems and, and complications. And I think sometimes you need to say, well, what do I want in this? So I'm going to try and focus a little bit more. At least in this first part of the year on what I want to make happen and empower myself to, to do that and to give myself some space to take care of myself and deliver as well. So let us know what you thought about this episode, send us some comments if you like the new video format, hopefully we managed to come out with video, Nicola let us know. We, we love to hear from you, whatever way you want to reach out to us. Thank you,

Nicola:

And thank you for listening. Thank you for being there through this. Thank you for sticking with us through our hiatus.

Florence:

we were, yes, silent, absolutely.

Nicola:

Thank you.

Florence:

Thank you. Bye.

Nicola:

Bye.

One thing that always strikes me is how different each person's all in journey is. As I often say, there are many paths to HA and many paths out of it. Your journey is unique. That is so true. If you need more support on your journey, you should definitely start with NoPeriodNowWhat, which you can get at noperiod. info. com. And Florence and I both work with people on different aspects of period recovery and so much more. If you'd like more personalized advice and attention, you can go to noperiod. info slash appointments to schedule a time to speak with me on fixing issues underlying missing periods, blood work, diagnosis, and lots more. or beyondbodyimage. com to work with me on the fear of weight gain and making peace with food exercise in your body. I also take care of the new French version of No Period Now What through the Instagram account je underscore livre. We also have joined clients and online support groups so you can access both our domains of expertise and get the physical and mental help you deserve to put an end to disordered eating once and for all. If you enjoyed this podcast and found it helpful, please subscribe and drop us a review to help more people find it. Also, join our online recovery community at noperiod. info slash support in English and noperiod. info slash communique in French and let us know how All In is going for you. All In is not just about period recovery, it's about getting your life back. See you in two weeks!